Why We Need Therapy
Depression & Anxiety
In this modern society we have a huge variety of things that stress us out. We usually have to set aside these stressors to deal with later or we just bury them altogether where they build up until we find ourselves sitting before a therapist with our anxiety or depression or any number of other so-called mental disorders or physical ailments. What we experience is a completely logical reasonable outcome to living the way we do. Also, to one degree or another, all of us carry around the unresolved traumas that occur in our lives. If we don't face and resolve these traumas, they will come back to haunt us.
Trauma & PTSD
Many individuals can experience symptoms associated with painful and traumatic circumstances. The trauma isn't so much about the experience of what happened, but more about what happened inside of you as a result. Trauma occurs when there is an inability to move, act, or resolve the situation. The body/system get stuck there. Safety needs to be created in the body. Anxiety, fear, and hopelessness are a few emotions that can linger after post traumatic events. I can help you deal with these events and guide you through the process of grief and healing. Social support is extremely important. Isolation is damaging. The resulting shame that can occur with trauma needs safety and support.
The stages of trauma recovery:
1. The person focuses on finding safety in the present with the goal of getting free of further trauma. The person needs to regain a sense of agency.
2. The person revisits the past in order to grieve and make meaning of the trauma.
3. A new identity is forged not denying the past or having it define who they are.
4. The survivor refocuses on the present and future seeking out connection with the wider community, possibilities, and with life.
Grief Counseling
The 5 Gates of grief from "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" by Francis Weller
First Gate: Everything we love we will lose
Second Gate: The Places that have not known love
Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World
Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive
Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
My own story of grief led me to becoming a therapist and opened and tenderized my heart like nothing else could have. Sooner or later we all get deeply touched by grief. It awaits us on the other side of love. There is no formula for how to get through it other than to allow it to ripen and expand us into a more profound understanding of life. It can potentially grace us with an abiding compassion and aliveness. Grief allows us to break away from old patterns that no longer serve us. Unfortunately, we must first make our passage through this excruciatingly painful realm. This is not an easy journey, but it is made much easier with kind and caring support.
Life Review
I am an older man. I have found it to be both a necessity and a rich experience to be in an ongoing review of my life. Being also a trained Psychotherapist, I would also say that it is an essential process of finding meaning and purpose in life. In my opinion, this is not only essential for the elderly and the terminally ill but is also something that can benefit people of younger ages as well.
When a life review is done in therapy the client is encouraged to tell their stories, to review important themes or times in their lives, and to explore the importance of “putting one’s life in order.” Many times we carry regrets and unresolved sadness or guilt. Carrying these things can lead to depression or unidentifiable stress. An important thing that drives us is the search for purpose and meaning. Sometimes we can discover that there was a purpose and a meaning once we resolve old issues and get rid of unnecessary “baggage.”